a bad day at the office

My job is being a Mum - sometimes a good enough one

sometimes a nowhere near good enough one....

and yesterday i had a bad day at the office...

My daughter has crappy teeth - up until yesterday - it is all over now (this is a message to my subconcious and hers to get those teeth perfect.. NOW!!!)

and i can assure you i have beaten myself up sufficiently for anything that races through your head about how can you??? don't you clean them??? etc to pale incomparison!!!

She lost a filling a few weeks ago and yesterday was d (for dentist) day .... i sedated her and bribed her (guinea pigs now instead of Christmas)...

but she was so terrified

of the needle

so terrified

of having to make herself submit to something that she knew was going to be painful,

when ever fibre of her being said RUN RUN RUN

I had to make her lay back

i had to make her open her mouth

i had to make her take that pain of the injection....

every part of her (except a tiny part of her nearly 8 year old brain which is sensible and old beyond her time and understands the practicality of teeth with holes) wanted to run and there i was betraying that

there i was holding her hand

blabbing on with platitudes...(sometimes in life there is crappy stuff we just have to go through...)

offering bribes (guinea pigs)

offering threats (no guinea pigs)

sweating

wanting to run out of there and cry myself

seein the total terror in her eyes and knowing that there was no way out but through....

why does an 8 year old need to know that ...

ahhh

but we made it and luckily the filling did fall out because the tooth beside it was so crap that the dentist had to pull it...

so i sit here grateful

ready to start another day of mothering, preparing to start talking AGAIN about making healthy choices

and guess what my littlest lovely has just called out "MUMMMMMMMMY"

AND Another day begins

thanks for reading